Somari and the Cheetahmen
by NickGloom
Summary: It's time for some fierce blood. Warning for language and mature themes. Fic 1 of the Dendy Fic Universe.
1. I: ZDog

"Somari, get a life. Take a walk"

The bartender growled and tossed the poor guy out, as Somari stumbled onto the street after drinking his fifth whiskey. After that many drinks, he's known for reading his favorite Creepypasta theories, which nobody wants to hear.

Somari got up and dusted his shoulders. A beer bottle was chucked at him from inside.

"Fuck you!" a voice shouted.

"Looks like I'm outta here," Somari chuckled, as his shoes dashed him down the rainy sidewalk, avoiding all the lowlifes, criminals, fuckpunks, thieves, cybergeeks, party perverts, and beer bozos that he could.

Behind him, a group of troublemakers were on his trail. All around him, the various nightlife began to scatter.

"Guys, let's go!" some weird nerd said in a trembling manner as he grabbed his friends to run off.

"What's with that weirdo?" Somari thought, when suddenly he got pushed from the back.

"Hey birdbrain!" the creature said, "Outta our way!"

Somari grumbled, as his quick shoes turned him around at the sight ahead. Three gigantic cheetah-like men were standing around him, looking at him with judging eyes.

"I don't know who the fuck you are," Somari replied, "But you better SHOVE OFF!"

Somari lunged at the big brute, his feet clashing against the cheetah's gigantic muscles. One of the smaller ones budged in.

"Guys, STOP IT!" the cheetahfuck said, "We're not here to cause trouble!"

"No shit we're not!" another one in the back said. "Nobody comes here to cause trouble. We came here to help!"

"I don't care who you are!" Somari yelled with tears in his eyes, "I don't give a damn WHO you are!"

Somari spindashed out of there like a crazed maniac, knocking the cheetahs over like bowling pins. Growling, the muscled one stood up.

"What the HELL is that guy's problem, Apollo," he said as he clenched his fists, "I'm gonna shove him into a laundry basket,"

"Sheesh, Hercules. Turn it down a notch," the third cheetahman, Aries, said as he walked up, "We can't do anything about that now. Did you see him? Fastest character in all the world,"

Hercules just growled as he picked up a paper bag and threw it.

"Hercules, stop it!" Apollo said.

"Apollo," Hercules said, "do you have an idea what's going on? Dr Morbis is going to conquer the world, and we have to be outsmarted by some geek in red shoes,"

"That doesn't matter now," Aries said as he gave Hercules a pat on his shoulder, "Dr Morbis is going to cause some serious shit if we don't get to the plan. Now, who's with me?"

Hercules was silent for a moment, then he nodded, "Me."

Aries turned to the side, raised his left hand, and pointed at Hercules with the thumbs up.

"Me too!" Apollo added, hyped to kick some ass.

The three stood alongside each other, ready for the adventure ahead, as they shouted their natural cry.

"LIVIN LARGE!"


	2. II: Gamtec

Hercules, Apollo and Aries walked through the streets, taking in the sights and sounds of the filth around them. All sorts of trash littered the street, it smelled of piss and coffee everywhere, and every block Hercules would have to shove another hooligan off that tried to attack them.

"No wonder that red-shoed freak was such a fighter," Hercules grumbled as he effortlessly shoved another attacker out of the way, "He has to deal with this trashheap of a town every single day of his life,"

"I have no idea what this place is," Apollo added looking at his phone, "But we're an hour off the regular path at this point,"

"Waixing," a voice said, "This is the city of Waixing,"

The three turned to their side, looking at a dark figure down a nearby alleyway. Smoke could be seen coming from his mouth. Hercules was on defense, the others cautiously waiting.

"Do you know about this place?" Apollo said uncertainly.

"Know about it? I've lived here my whole life..." the voice said.

Out from the shadows came the most disgusting being the three had ever seen. A baggy pants man, wearing a round white hat with red spots. He was bald and wore a small jacket. He almost looked like a fucked up mushroom man.

"...Kinopio's my name. I'm from the sixth generation of the Kart Fighter gang, heir to the Hummer family name,"

As he stepped forward, he blew his smoke into Apollo's face, as he coughed and gagged.

"Hey, you're gonna give him second-hand smoke!" Aries growled.

Kinopio flipped the cigarette right at Aries face.

"So what? Try me, fuck lip,"

Hercules had enough. If there was one thing he hated more than geeks, criminals and politicians, it was arrogant smokers. He tried to lunge at Kinopio, but Kinopio hit him with a fat uppercut, sending him flying back.

"HOLY SHIT!" Hercules yelled, getting knocked back against a parked taxi as he bounced off, breaking a door mirror.

"You dickbags thought I'd be easy," Kinopio said, "But I'm the toughest son of a BITCH in Waixing,"

Apollo tried to smack him with some used magazines he found on the ground, but Kinopio easily kicked his ass, as he whined laying on the floor, suffering from a migraine and smoke-filled lungs from Kinopio's gross cigarettes. Aries was backed into a corner as Kinopio smirked.

"It's been at least five months since I legally murdered someone," he said with a gross laugh, "It's your lucky day today!"

All Aries could do was weep, as his whole life flashed before his eyes. Dr Morbis killed his mother, stole the life away from him and his brothers, and now nobody would be able to stop him. He closed his eyes and prepared for the sweet relief of disc rot.

"Hey cockass, leave those cats alone!" a familiar voice sprang out.

Suddenly, Kinopio felt a spitball hit the back of his huge head. He turned around to see Somari staring his way.

"Somari, you jackass!" Kinopio growled, "This doesn't involve you!"

Somari tucked his knees, as he spundash immediately to attack Kinopio. Kinopio tried to counter with a Mushroom Shot, but it was too late, as he was struck by Somari's spindash, as he fell backwards and felt a migraine.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Kinopio said, craving a box of bandaids and alcohol.

"Get your ass out of here, mushroom man," Somari said, "These are MY GUESTS,"

Kinopio cried and staggered off, his migraine growing worse and worse. Somari kicked a can his way, then turned around and helped Aries up. Behind him, Hercules and Apollo came to their sense as they joined up.

"I don't understand, why would you help us?" Hercules asked.

"I overheard you guys talking about Dr Morbis," Somari said as he handed out band-aids and MDMA pills to his new friends, "And I have my own reasons for wanting to stop that jackass,"

Apollo smiled.

"Will you help us?"

Somari nodded.

"Somari's the name, and spindashing's the game!"

All four of them high-fived. Somari, while a mean man, still liked to party with his new pals.

"Hey guys, Darkthrone is playing tonight in Waixing. Wanna go watch them and drink some decaf coffee?"

The Cheetahmen got hype and briefly moshed in a circle, right before following Somari to the local club.

"LIVIN LARGE!"


End file.
